What's The Median On The Mean Deen?

      Three baileys in tonight I decided to get the courage to talk about what the media seems to think is a big deal about Paula Deen. Here's the story, she said it...years ago. She said so and so was "black as this board" does that make her a racist? Seriously? You think THAT makes her a racist? Get a grip people. You mean to tell me when someone says "He/She was "white as a ghost" is racist too? What has this world come too?

What about the song "Thriftshop" by Macklamore he says in his song "that's a cold ass honkey" should I take offense because I'm white? No! Has anyone boycotted THAT song? No! What about, the rappers who sing about the "N" word? Do we boycott THOSE songs? No! Why is it we have to single out Paula Deen for this? Please explain this to me. One of my friends on Facebook recently said to me "what about Chris Brown, Kayne West, Snoop Dog, 50 Cent, who all use 'that word'...its a double standard...if you or I say it, we are racist, but they throw it around like its nothing...Is it offensive?? Then NO One should use it" He makes a valid point.

     I'm not saying I support Paula Deen, nor am I saying she's wrong. What I'm saying is it's such a shame that America has come to this point where we all just look for stuff to hurt people with. I'm pretty sure Paula Deen meant no harm in what she said. The mere fact that her advertisers are pulling from her, is just terrible. They're the one's who are racist. They're the one's who are separating the color in this world. To me, the only people who see color are those making a big deal about it. Wake up people, we live in world where there is no color, only the colors of the rainbow...and rainbows hold no judgement.

The whole "Median with the Deen" lies in the middle. If you want to blame her for being racist then maybe you should look in the mirror and decide whether or not you're part of the society  who helps create the color separation in this world. For me, I see no color... perhaps we should all do the same.

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Robots Hitting My Blog

      Creating a blog is one thing, getting people to visit it is another. I look at my stats daily and I have a lot of repeat readers (thanks!) but how do I get new readers to my blog?  Let's face it, everyone who writes a blog feels they have something very important to write about or else they wouldn't be writing about it. (including myself :) )
      For the past few days I have been searching on how to get free traffic to your blog and there are countless ways to get free traffic. The problem is, I think these methods I've found all use a robot sort of thing to get you more hits. I see hits coming to my site mostly from the US but sometimes I see hits coming from all over the world. I'm sure some robot somewhere picked up my blog address and put it into a system to generate these "hits".
      
      Maybe you could leave me a comment or follow my blog to prove you're human. Then again, that's run by a robot too, since I can't see who follows me I can only see the amount of followers. I really don't want robots reading my blog, seems so impersonal...or maybe it's a good thing having Robots Hitting My Blog? 



Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

When Two's A Crowd

      I stayed up until 3 am this morning as I couldn't sleep between my tears. I've never been so hurt before by someone I care for so much. Sometimes, honesty is the best policy, other times, it's best to just keep quiet. Tonight, I wished I kept quiet. For the past three days, I've said some terrible things to him which I'm sorry for. I found out last night, that what I'm feeling is resentment and insecurity. I'm secure with my professional life but my personal life leaves me vulnerable and alone. I know that I must try to be a better person and do good things for other people in order to feel better about myself. But when I do good things for someone, I don't feel the sense of appreciation. Jealousy becomes me, and does not look good on me. I'm not a bitter person, I am a hurt person. For once in my life I thought I found that one special guy who was different than all the others. Last night, I learned he is not. He's a good man, a good person and a wonderful human being. I deserve this man, but I know I do not deserve to hurt him. I hurt him by my mistrust and my selfish insecurities. Although he gives me no reason to mistrust him or to feel insecure, my mind tries to convince me otherwise. My heart knows better, but my mind argues and wrestles with emotions. Why must I sabotage every relationship? What is it that is in me to feel so insecure in my personal life? The closer I get to someone the more I do not trust them. 

       A slue of emotions run through me. Between confusion, despair, happiness, thankfulness and resentment. It's not easy to understand why I have these feelings although a part of me would like to think it's because of my current relationship or lack there of one. Last night we talked and I found out a lot about myself. For one, I tend to over react to situations I have no control over. I'm starting to think the reason I get so frustrated and jealous is because it's a lack of control in my relationship. I understand how he feels when he says he just wants everything light and happy. No drama, no stress. He says he wants what we have to work and I also want that with us. I asked him what “this” was and he said he didn't know. He said he doesn't want to be in a heavy committed relationship with anyone. I get that, I understand that; but somehow along the way I failed to believe that. It was in my own mind which I placed a relationship status on us. Although at times in my mind I kind of thought those same words he said, my heart felt differently.

      Am I to blame for the way I feel? Am I making it more than it should be? He feels so. He feels I'm blowing things out of proportion and I have nothing to worry about. He told me he has done nothing wrong and has never been with anyone else intimately since we started living together. I believe him.  He expects me to be patient and take things light, yet I get so jealous when he's out with other co-workers having dinner and drinking. I feel left out. Perhaps there is a deeper issue with him that I am not aware of. I only wish he would open up to me and tell me, perhaps this could explain a lot to me and give me some more understanding. I can't continue to feel this is my fault the way things are going now. Nor will I be to blame. I will however, bide by his wishes to not be a pain in his ass. I realize there are many things I need to work on in this relationship, if it is even a relationship. According to him, it is but not a romantic one. Can I be in a relationship and not be romantically involved? I can if that relationship means only being roommates. The question is, can I be just his roommate or is this When Two's A Crowd?

Until Next Time, 
Much Love, 
Nikki

Please Vote For Me

Okay, there's a contest going on in the radio world right now and I NEED YOUR VOTE!! The Winner gets these really cool headphones which are worth a lot of money and I really want to win these. Look how cool they are, they're badass! 

Here's how you vote: Go to this page http://www.thekayelist.com/hottest-women-in-radio-2013-nominations/ and put in this information: 

Name: Nikki Landry
Station: WWWM-FM 
City: Toledo. 

They (Mark Kayne) will send you an email to confirm your vote (check your spam folder it may go in there).

Thanks for your vote!! I really want to win these headphones...


Until Next Time, 
Much Love, 
Nikki

Relationships Are Like Our Kitchens

Relationships ARE like our kitchen. Depending on how your kitchen is laid out can say a lot about how you view your relationships in life. Think about it for a minute. We all have cabinets, we all put certain things in their certain places and we know they're there if we need to use them. How does this all play a part within our relationships? Well, if you have a scattered kitchen and things aren't placed in their perspective places we get lost trying to find them.

      In our minds we do the same thing in relationships. We meet someone and we put them in "our cabinet" we compartmentalize them. We ask ourselves questions about the other person. Do I like this person? Is he/she just a friend? Are they a potential lover? Are they someone I want to have a long lasting relationship with? Or is this person just someone who passed through my life? Does that passage have a meaning? When we decide on these factors we put them into a category... or a cabinet. If we like this person as a friend, we put them into the "friends category" (something like where we would store our mixer) because we don't use it every day. If this same person is thought to be a potential lover, we may put them into the "coffee" canister, something most of us access every day.

      The question comes to mind of "What if I'm  not sure where to put them?" Then this is where your kitchen gets cluttered...this is where we put our mail...on the counter until we decide what to do with it. We all have departments of our compartments but how we manage those compartments is what defines how we mange our relationships. 



Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki.