Renewing Wedding Vows

A couple had been married 50 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows. They were discussing the details of their second wedding with their friends. She wasn't going to wear a traditional bridal gown, and she started describing the dress she was planning to wear. One of her friends asked what color shoes she had to go with her dress. She replied, "Silver." At that point, her husband chimed in, "Yep, silver... to match her hair." Shooting a glaring look at his bald spot, her friend shot back, "So I guess you're going barefoot."



Until Next Time,

Much Love,

Nikki

New Website

I have moved my Blog to http://www.thoughts.com/nikkilandry


Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

A Spoonful of Grateful

        For the past couple of days, I have to admit I haven’t been in the best of moods. No reason really, I just wasn’t in a good mood. I seemed to be complaining a lot to people about things that I wanted them to fix but they had no control to do so. I call this my impatience factor. There are times where I can be impatient. I think we all can at times. However, when your impatience comes across negative to someone, not only does it hurt the other person and makes them feel incompetent but it also leaves you feeling worse than the mood you were in to begin with. For this, I am truly sorry for those around me for the past couple of days who had to deal with me being anything other than the fun loving person I am and I try to be everyday.


        It wasn’t until today when I had a conversation with one of my co workers that she mentioned to me, that both she and I both were “not feeling it” that we were just in bad moods for the past couple of days. She said to me “I think what we should do is just start making a list of the top 5 things we’re grateful for.” I couldn’t agree more. Too many times we focus on the negative in our lives because it’s easier to hurt than it is to feel happy. It actually takes more muscles to smile than it does to frown. After she suggested the “list” to me, I thought what a great idea. I personally and professionally have so much to be grateful for and I’m guilty of not reflecting on what I have to be thankful for. I wanted to share my “gratefuls” with you, in hopes that you too take the time to remind yourself what you have to be thankful for.

       You do not need to post your “spoonful of grateful” here, but if you want to, I’d love to read yours. We all have things in our lives to be grateful for and today I wanted to start and share my list with you. Keep in mind; these are in no particular order, just my thoughts as they appear to me now as I type to you.


Things I’m Grateful for Today:


1) Having a great radio career where I get to talk to you everyday.
2) Living in the best city in the country (New Orleans).
3) Having true friends who stand by me no matter what.
4) Having a nice place to live
5) Having my family close enough so I can visit by driving there.


       These are just 5 of my gratefuls for today. I didn’t mention health on here because I am always grateful to have that and I narrowed it down to the top 5 of today. I’d love to hear your top 5 gratefuls if you’d like to share them on here. It doesn’t have to be a big huge list, just a spoonful.



Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

In The Fires of Hell - Andrea Yates

     Chills consume the vertebrates of my spin while I continue to research the unfortunately well known story of Andrea Yates. She was a mother of five children, a stellar student, a valedictorian and a nurse. However, today she is known as being a murderer of her five children. “In 1993, she married Rusty Yates, who was a disciple of preacher Michael Peter Woroniecki.” (A&E Television, 2010) Six years after she was married, she “was treated for postpartum depression and psychosis, illnesses that ran in her family.” (A&E Television, 2010) Andrea went into severe depression following the birth of her fifth child and the death of her father. Her depression was so severe she was admitted unwillingly into a hospital known as The Devereux-Texas Treatment Network. Her doctor, Dr. Mohammed Saeed who prescribed her the series of psychotropic drug treatments, also “abruptly tapered off the antipsychotic Haldol, a medication that helped Andrea recover in 1999.” (A&E Television, 2010)    

   

       In 1986 Andrea Yates, graduated from the University of Texas School of Nursing. From 1986 to 1994 she worked as a registered nurse at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. In 2001, within an hours time of her husband leaving her and her mother-in-law on the way to visit her, Andrea Yates drowned all five of her children in the bathtub. Five years later, “On July 26, 2006, Yates was found not guilty by reason of insanity and was committed to North Texas State Hospital.” (A&E Television, 2010) During the same year prior to her murders, Andrea Yates “had a history of psychiatric hospitalizations and two suicide attempts, was later diagnosed with postpartum depression with psychotic features and schizophrenia.” (RUIZ. R., 2006) According to the The National Institute of Mental Health, Postpartum depression is defined as:

                       Biological changes in mothers that occur after childbirth are

                       often accompanied by significant changes in family roles and

                       responsibilities as well. Generally, postpartum depression (PPD)

                       is thought to be associated with the drastic changes in hormone

                       levels that occur during and just after pregnancy. (Insel, MD., 2010)

       Although a general definition above, the type of depression Andrea Yates had was more intensified as it was accompanied with psychotic features and schizophrenia. This type of depression “occurs when a severe depressive illness is accompanied by some form of psychosis, such as a break with reality, hallucinations, and delusions.” (Insel, MD., 2010) Andrea Yates believed she was the devil. “she lived for months with confused thoughts not only about right and wrong but also about good and evil--because she believed she was the devil.” (Roche, 2002)  While Andrea Yates was being arrested she said “I was so stupid. Could I have killed just one to fulfill the prophecy? Could I have offered Mary [her youngest]?"(Roche, 2002)

Page 2 - Behaviors and The Treatments

Page 3 - Brief Discussion of Her Court Case / Discussion

Page 4 - Whether or Not I Agree or Disagree With The Courts' Decision

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Wanna A Great Air Check?

     I'm a recent major market on air personality in radio. Now, I want to help YOU sound the best you can on the air. Radio needs great sounding jocks on the air and I want YOU to be one of them. I've done radio in just about all market sizes. I've done radio from market 165 all the way up to market 4 and I've accomplished this from only being on the air full time under 7 years. I have a proven track record of consistently being one of the top ranked shows in my markets. I've also taught radio communications at George Mason University as a guest speaker.

     I can show you how to get noticed in the radio business, have a really great air check that will stand out from the rest, and make a great resume' to get their attention.

     Submit your air check to me and I can edit it for you. I will also give you honest feedback and help you become a better air talent. I can also help with building your resume too.

     Wanna have a better air check? Contact me. I can also help in writing copy for your endorsements as well.


     Feel free to listen to my demo on the demo page to the left. I can also put your demo into video form as well. It's free to send me your demo. Email me for more information and how I can help you.

 
Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Bad Career Advice From Good Parents.

           Six months into being unemployed I find I'm still having to answer to my parents as to why I haven't been able to get a job yet. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind answering to my parents even if I am over 40 years old. However, what they don't realize these days is the hiring process has changed so much since their days of employment. It used to be when you were looking for a job you could apply to the job by either walking into the place of business or making a phone call to see if they're hiring. I remember when I could walk into a Red Lobster restaurant and inquire "within" about the job they had posted on the window. Today, I went there to see if they were hiring and I got the answer "We're always looking for the best people" so, I said "Great!, may I fill out an application?" The manager told me I had to apply online, so I did and I have to wait until I hear back from someone from the website who saw my resume I sent into a big huge folder somewhere with the company.

       Speaking of waiting. This is something our parents do not get at all when one of their kids is trying to get a job. I have to admit, I'm very fortunate that since I have been unemployed in my field of radio I have had many, many, many interviews.  I've had a lot of interest from radio stations for my talent. What I'm finding out when I speak with these stations is they aren't necessarily in a hurry to hire. I think they are in reality but with the economy and such I can understand how things get delayed and the budget may not allow to hire someone immediately. When you're unemployed, immediately can't come quick enough. I've had 12 radio interviews and so far, I have 4 radio stations interested in me. The positions they want to fill are currently vacant so it's good to know no one is going to lose a job if they decide to hire me.

      My parents do not really understand when I tell them I haven't heard anything back from (such and such station) or if I did hear back from them, that the hiring process is just going to take longer than expected. I understand how the delays happen and I'm willing to sit it out and wait for that perfect fit.  All along the way I and a few of my friends in the same business have been given advice from our parents on how to get the attention of the managers at the radio stations. I've listed some of the things our parents have told us to do.

• Keep calling until they answer
• If you get a voice mail, do not leave a message...call back until they answer
• Where the short skirt, but not too short
• Make up should be light
• Don't wear too much perfume
• If you can't get a hold of the manager, call THEIR boss
• If you can't get a hold of THEIR boss, call THEIR boss, keep going up the chain
• Deliver your resume in person, don't email it
• Ask them what the hold up is
• Tell them you're dead broke and you want the job and you need to start tomorrow
• If they won't let you start tomorrow tell them you'll work for the competition 

       Things like the above they mentioned to us, and honestly some of them aren't too bad. Some of them...well common sense would tell you not to use them. If you can think of things YOUR parents told you to do to get the attention of the hiring official reply to my post and I'll add them to the list.

 
Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Employing The Unemployed

The homeless man who had more integrity than corporate America...

"Will Work 4 Food", "Please help, homeless vet needs food". We've all seen signs like this from people on the streets looking for our hand outs. Not too long ago, I was living in San Francisco. The first day I get to the city, I see a man on the corner holding a sign that read "Need Money For A Hooker, too ugly to get laid without one" I laughed when I saw this. I actually gave the man $5.00. I didn't give him the $5.00 to get a hooker, but I gave it to him because he was honest. Does it pay to be honest in today's world? It did for this guy.

       Being unemployed is crazy, isn't it? If you're like me and somehow we let our careers define who we are and we're unemployed we feel like no one. I was talking with a friend the other day and he said "Nikki, your work doesn't define who you are, but it defines a part of what you do." I found this so interesting. When I was working, people would ask "who are you?" And I would tell them "I'm a major market on air personality" (because that WAS my job). Not once did I ever answer who I was..I always answered what I did. Interesting to think about that now. If someone were to ask me who I was today would I reply "unemployed"? I don't think so, I think I would reply "I'm currently working towards my Masters in Psychology" (since that's what I'm doing now). Funny how we identify who we are by only the good things we accomplish in life. I guess no one wants to hear the bad stuff...

      This brings me to being unemployed. Since when does being "unemployed" make you less desirable for companies to hire? Statistics show; you're worth more money to another company when you're employed looking for another job. Really? You mean to tell me, I'm worth more money to another company if I'm seeking other employment at the same time I'm employed? Hmmmm, where's the logic in that? What I'm hearing is, it's okay to be disloyal to the company who is paying me? I'm not sure I'd want to work  for a company who thinks that's okay to do while I'm employed by someone else.

Looks like the homeless man I saw in San Francisco holding the "hooker" sign has more honesty than corporate America.

Since money is extremely scarce now, I'm thankful I've saved most of my receipts from things I was bale to afford in the past. It seems now my savings plan consists of returning items to the store so I can get enough cash for food and gas. It's a shame to be living in such a free world which doesn't allow us to be free to choose what direction we can go in life. I've applied at certain jobs which were way  below my educational level and experience only to find out, I was "too over qualified" for the position. I have some advice for companies, if you're looking to hire the best; now is the time. Some of the best qualified people are out of work now, and take it from me...we're on Sale

Until Next Time, Much Love, Nikki

Relationships Are Like Our Kitchen

Relationships ARE like our kitchen. Depending on how your kitchen is laid out can say a lot about how you view your relationships in life. Think about it for a minute. We all have cabinets, we all put certain things in their certain places and we know they're there if we need to use them. How does this all play a part within our relationships? Well, if you have a scattered kitchen and things aren't placed in their perspective places we get lost trying to find them.

In our minds we do the same thing in relationships. We meet someone and we put them in "our cabinet" we compartmentalize them. We ask ourselves questions about the other person. Do I like this person? Is he/she just a friend? Are they a potential lover? Are they someone I want to have a long lasting relationship with? Or is this person just someone who passed through my life? Does that passage have a meaning? When we decide on these factors we put them into a category... or a cabinet. If we like this person as a friend, we put them into the "friends category" (something like where we would store our mixer) because we don't use it every day. If this same person is thought to be a potential lover, we may put them into the "coffee" canister, something most of us access every day.

The question comes to mind of "What if I'm  not sure where to put them?" Then this is where your kitchen gets cluttered...this is where we put our mail...on the counter until we decide what to do with it. We all have departments of our compartments but how we manage those compartments is what defines how we mange our relationships. 




Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

The Educated Ego

     With unemployment being so high these days it's important to "sell" ourselves to the potential employer. We're all in this game called "Life". It's been 4 months since I've been able to land a gig in radio. It's not because I'm too picky on where I want to work, but it may be due to the way I thought I had to "sell" myself to the potential employer.

     During the interview process we all get asked the same dreaded question of "Tell me about yourself".  I'm a firm believer not too  many people like to talk about themselves...unless they have a big ego. Today, I was proposed a question about the ego and being in the radio business versus being in the corporate world.  I was on Facebook and a friend asked me this question : ""Nikki, why is it in radio when you're confident you're considered having an ego, and in the corporate world having confidence means you're educated?" My reply? Interesting concept, I'll go ask the panel." So, I asked "the panel" on Facebook. 


Here's what "the panel" had to say...with their permission.


 - "It depends on HOW the confidence is displayed. Many times EGO is misread as confidence."

 - "But in this business, if you are good, you have to have some ego, confidence. With out it, you are just average. So, I am an educated radio personality... call it what you want, just be great at it."

- "There is a difference between ego and arrogance WITH ego. There is no room for a diva in any business..... and most divas DON'T have the talent to back it up. :)"

 - "Doing a great job every day, and being confident in doing it, nothing wrong with that. While some may see that as an EGO thing, it's really more about what you see when the mirror reflects you back. I think the ego part may come in when you have air talent that always TELLS you how confident they are. When that happens, you have to wonder if maybe they're not all that confident or talented to begin with." 

      Then my reply came: "I'm lucky enough I've never been told I was a Diva or I had an ego. The problem is when PD's automatically think you have an ego because a) you're from a major market or b) you're good on the air. I had a PD once tell me "here we all leave... our ego's at the door." I was like "ok" but then I thought to myself what she was actually saying was "I know you think you're all that because you're from a major market but...I really don't want to invest my time with you, or I don't know how to make you better". I think I'm educated enough to know the difference between real PD's and those who fake it to keep their jobs. The one's who fake it never make a decision and they pass the buck. The one's who make it, take chances and help mold the air talent. So far, I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by great PD's who helped shape the air talent I am today. I didn't get this way alone. Does this make me egotistical or confident in my talent?"

      The next person continued in the thread by saying : 

- "That makes you confident in your talent. And that's a very good thing."

- "Having confidence is not the same as having an ego (they are not exclusive of each other). Having an ego (huge one that people talk negatively about) comes across as being a "Diva". Thinking, or in the case of radio, talking about yoursel...f all the time (as though the world revolves around you, and only you). Being confident just means you know what you are doing, know you can do the job, and know you can do it right. Sometimes confidence is misplaced, just as a huge ego can be misplaced, in that regard they are equal.

Does this answer your question?"

     Then I reply: "Yes. I see your point and I agree with you. How would you approach a situation (and this could help others too when applying for a job). How would you approach a situation where the interviewer asks the "horrible" question of "So tell me about yourself" ? I think sometimes in radio when we DO, do that it may come across egotistical. Any suggestions on how to answer this without sounding egotistical?"

     Then another person chimed in: "Nikki, somehow your response isn't showing (but I did get the email with your question). When in an interview, you can be confident in your abilities, but to keep the ego in check by admitting you can't do it all on your own. All the people in the background, that listeners never know about, help too. Talk about how you listen to others, incorporating their good ideas into your show, etc. That way you come across as confident, but not egotistical."

Then lastly: "Listening! What a great concept that so many have forgotten."

      So, after reading everyone's comments, it led me to believe there is actually a difference in being educated and having an ego. If you're smart you'll know how to use your ego  to make it look like you don't have one. If all you have is an ego then chances are, that's the only thing you have to bring to the table for a potential employer. Anyone with a healthy ego knows, ego's can be lifted, created, shattered and nurtured.

     When is it okay to display your ego? When do we say, "hey, I AM good enough for this position so why not hire ME"? Do we ever have that right to say that, do we even dare to say that? What if it's your confidence speaking out loud and NOT your ego?

The way potential employers see us depends on how educated our ego has become.



Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

The Art Of Writing About Nothing

     Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone wants to know they're being heard. No one likes to be ignored. Regardless of the nature of us writing or speaking it's essential we are heard. There are times we come across people who just love to talk. Yes, and we're forced to listen to them because anything BUT paying attention to them is impolite. I'd like to know where is it written that I must stop everything I'm doing just to hear someone speak about something I have no interest in. I have to admit, I do it out of sheer mannerism.

      Have you ever met those type of people who talk just to reassure themselves their still alive? I have. They commentate on everything. You could be watching a tv show with them and every scene they have to make a comment. Every commercial that comes on tv they have something to say about it. You try your hardest to ignore them in hopes they get the message you don't want to engage in conversation when your favorite show is on, yet they continue to talk away.

     Don't get me wrong if what they had to say was important to me, I'd pay more attention to what they have to say. Most people only truly listen to other people when they find the conversation is important to the one listening. You could basically talk about nothing but if you include their name in the conversation, they are more apt to listen AND comment on your conversation. Humans are so egocentric. The same people who love to talk during shows or while you're busy concentrating are the same people who will talk about you behind your back. Did you know that? It's true. They'll be the first one's to talk to you about someone else. They love to gossip...we all do. I just ask please don't do it with me while I'm watching Grey's Anatomy.


     Why can't I just sit here as I am and just babble on and on about nothing? I did. That is the art of writing about nothing.
Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Monkey See...Monkey Do...or Do We?

            Bandura’s Observational Learning concept is brilliant. When we look at Bandura's observational of learning and how it's influenced, we see four variables. There is the Attentional processes, which determines what we can and do attend to. We have The Retentional processes, which this tells us how we remember what we saw. We have The Motor reproduction processes, this tells us how we act out what we remember seeing. Lastly, we have The Motivational processes, which determine the circumstances under which learning is translated into performance. (Hergenhahn & Olson, 2007, p. 355).

             Why might these learning concepts be important to consider with the content of television programs, the internet, films, video games and the various forms of “new media?” Well, here are some facts which I researched to show exactly how important this impact has on someone's life. The main focus on my research was the influence of media to adolescents. Recent studies have shown violent media exposed to adolescents who engage in the act of acting out aggressive behavior in a video game leads to aggression after the game completed. Adolescents who actively engage in violent video games show more signs of aggression than if they did not engage in violent video games. Reinforcement is not dependent on learning. I happen to disagree with this. People will often learn more and retain more information and even act our behavior more if there is a positive reinforcement associated with it.Some people use aggression as a form of gaining a reward for their behavior. When a person imitates a certain behavior of aggression and they get rewarded for it, chances are they will continue that behavior to gain the reward again. Take terrorists for example, when they threaten us, we (the media) “reward” them by giving them highly publicized awareness of them. “Television programs, acts of assault have outnumbered affectionate acts four to nine” (Myers, 2010, p. 377). This is due in partly because children do what they see and learn.

            My question is...if all of this is true (which I believe it to be based on my research) then how do we explain the shootings at Columbine High school? These kids who did this mass murdering came from a very well established home. Yet, “on April 20, 1999, during which they killed 13 people and injured more than 20. With a geophysicist for a father and a mother who worked with the disabled. His family was upper middle class; his father had a successful mortgage business.”(A&E Television, 2000)

                                                                                                   Reference
A&E Television, Initials. (2000). Crime files. Retrieved from http://www.biography.com/notorious/crimefiles.do?catId=259458&action=view&profileId=260623
Hergenhahn, B.R., & Olson, M.H. (2007). Theories of Personality (7th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

It's Your Ego

      If there was one person I'd love to have coffee with, it would be Sigmund Freud. I have always been so engaged in anything he's studied or theorized. Sigmund Freud brought us the three different parts of our mind to understand. He gave us these three components of level of awareness. The fist level he calls The conscious mind. This is where we are right now, we are paying attention to what is happening to us at this very moment. An example would be you reading what I'm writing. There is a Pre-conscious mind according to Freud we all have. This would be an example of things we are aware of but really not paying too much attention to at the moment. Perhaps the television is on in the background when you're reading this? That would be your Pre-conscious mind, you know the TV is there yet it has no interference to what you're doing now, like reading my post. We also have a subconscious mind.

      Freud believed this level of our awareness is “the process and content are out of direct reach of the conscious mind. The subconscious thus thinks and acts independently.” (Bannister, 2008). Interesting factor, Freud thought this part of the mind is where the most of our uncontrolled behavior is driven from. He felt this is where we do most of our thinking. My question is, if he felt this was mostly the cause of our behavior controlled or uncontrolled, then we must be living in a mostly subconscious state? Although, “more recent research has shown that the subconscious mind is probably even more in charge of our actions than even Freud had realized.” (Bannister, 2008). My question still remains.

      I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing that Clinical psychologist Don Bannister described Freud's position on the human personality as being. I wonder how it would effect someone today if someone said this about another person. Would it be a compliment or a put down. Clinical psychologist Don Bannister said this about Sigmund Freud. "...basically a battlefield. He is a dark-cellar in which a well-bred spinster lady (the superego) and a sex-crazed monkey (the id) are forever engaged in mortal combat, the struggle being refereed by a rather nervous bank clerk (the ego)."

      If you take out the “ego's” reference in this quote it would read “basically a battlefield. He is a dark-cellar in which a well-bred spinster lady and a sex-crazed monkey are forever engaged in mortal combat, the struggle being refereed by a rather nervous bank clerk." (edited) To me that doesn't sound very nice. Okay on to what we came here for...the structural model of the psyche – id, ego, and superego according to Sigmund Freud.

The three main parts of our ego system consists of the Id, the superego, and the ego.

Id

      To me, this is the most greedy of all of our egos. This level of our ego is only concerned with pleasure to avoid the pain. It's our hedonistic part of our ego. You can find someone using this level by people who make fun of other people and find pure enjoyment by doing so. Sometimes, people make fun of other people because it gives them pleasure when in fact a lot of those times people who do this type of behavior are doing so to avoid their own pain. Also, in another sense we use this for sexual pleasure. According to Freud the Id has 2 major instincts. The “Eros: the life instinct that motivates people to focus on pleasure-seeking tendencies (e.g., sexual urges).” and the Thanatos: the death instinct that motivates people to use aggressive urges to destroy.” (Bannister, 2008). The next part of our ego system is the “Ego” itself.

Ego

      Your ego understands that behaviors have consequences. It also includes our rationalization of what we need to live socially among people. It gives us the perception, recognition, judgment and memory. Freud believed this process is developed during childhood. The primary principle of the ego is to balance the Id and the superego. “The Ego controls higher mental processes such as reasoning and problem-solving, which it uses to solve the Id-Super ego dilemma, creatively finding ways to safely satisfy the Id's basic urges within the constraints of the Super ego.” (Bannister, 2008)

Super ego

      Freud believed our superego was learned in our childhood from our parents. It is in this factor we are taught right from wrong. Our superego also holds our values and our beliefs which are contained in our conscious. “The Super ego is a counterbalance to the Id, and seeks to inhibit the Id's pleasure-seeking demands, particularly those for sex and aggression.”(Bannister, 2008). To sum it all up we can say “The id is the part of our mind we share with lower animals and is governed by the pleasure principle. The ego is the executive of the personality and is governed by the reality principle. The superego is the moral component of the personality and consists of the conscience and the ego ideal.” (Hergenhahn, B., & Olson, M., 2007 p. 56)

                                                                                                   Reference

Bannister, D. (2008, October). Freud's personality factors. Retrieved from http://changingminds.org/explanations/personality/freud_personality.htm

Hergenhahn, B., & Olson, M. (2007). An Introduction to Theories of Personality. (7th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall.


Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Waiting Is The Hardest Part

Jack Oct 1996 - Nov 2010
R.I.P Mommy Loves You

Good News!! Petco.com published this story for their contest. Please vote for my story by following this link. Let's win this, and currently my story is Number 1 with the votes. Here's the Link:  
http://www.petco.com/content/story/brandylist.aspx?bvcategoryid=1-45   

 
      We all say losing a friend is one of the hardest things we go through in life. For a dog, I believe the same to be true. Dealing with the loss of someone special always takes time. The question is, "how much time does it take?". It's been almost three weeks since we lost Jack, my 14 year old America Eskimo, I raised him since he was 8 weeks old.

      There's not a day that goes by I don't think about him. I remember the day so clearly when I had to make the decision to put him down. His eating stopped, his "circle of life" became smaller and he didn't know where he was. He was deaf, and blind and was not happy. He was in constant disarray and his mind had given up on him. I'm only glad to know he wasn't in any pain.

      The sun was actually shinning. I took him for a 3 hour car ride and spoke with him while I was driving, reminding him of all the good times we shared, places we've lived, friends he's met and reminded him what he taught his brother will live on for generations to come. After my drive, I decided to pull over to our favorite park and I laid with him under the 4th tree Oak tree. He was motionless and didn't really know who I was. He never really liked it when I would touch his paws he'd always pull away. I laid with him caressing his hair behind his ears as the tears feel down my face. I knew the next trip was to the vets office. I cried so hard for hours that morning. I went to touch his paw and he pulled away and I asked in between my tears to "please let me touch your paws, just this once, please?" He then gave me his paw. I knew in my heart he too wanted to sleep, he wasn't breathing right...unsteady and almost barely. His eyes were empty looking but somehow I  know in my heart we had our final bonding moment. I asked God to give me the strength because I knew it was time for Jack to go be with his mother in heaven. I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, to put him down so he could rest.

       Speaking of resting, the first night when I came home from the vet, I couldn't sleep as you could imagine. I feel asleep briefly as I woke in the middle of the night only to hear the paw steps of Jack dancing on the floor. It was a beautiful sound and it made me smile knowing he is happy. My puppy, Bennie (his brother) on the other hand is not happy now. Since, the day Jack didn't come home, Bennie had only eaten 3 bowls of food in 6 days. He's better now, but in the beginning he didn't want to eat, play or do anything but lay where Jack used to lay in the house. Since then, Bennie has been doing better but not 100% better. Every morning, he gets up at 6am with me, I feed him, we play, we go for walk and when we get home, he sits by the window...waiting for Jack to come home.

  It breaks my heart to tell him, Jack isn't coming home and that Jack is home with his own family. For the both of us, truth be known we are both waiting for Jack to return...and that's the hardest part.

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

The Circle of Life

      As I sit here in my kitchen wearing my white Royal Caribbean Cruise bath robe, tears fall down my face. I have a candle lit, there's the sounds of classical music mixed with nature sounds playing in the background. I have a puppy named Bennie pictured left. Bennie is 3 years old and a really good boy. He's healthy, well balanced and very playful according to his vet and his trainer.

Bennie isn't the one I'm writing about.

I'm writing about his "brother" Jack (pictured left) Jack has been with me since he was born 14 years ago. 

      Being 14 years old in dog years is pretty old. That's how old Jack is. He always acted like he was 5 years old...until 3 weeks ago. Keep in mind, I've had jack for 14 years so within those years together; we've moved 6 times, lived in 6 different states (because of my job), we've driven together across the country twice, hes' met my boyfriends throughout the years, some he liked, some he didn't. He always had the best of everything, after all, he is like a son to me. I've never had children but he's been the closest there could be for me.

     A few weeks ago, I noticed his behavior changing and his motor skills slowing down. His appetite decreased and he didn't really drink too much water. Lately, he's been eating more and drinking a lot of water. But something else happened while his appetite increased his memory has decreased. He now paces the houses for 10 hours a day and just circles the parameter of the house..constantly. His brain no longer knows how to tell him to rest. Each day I have to put him in my bedroom and psychically lay him down as he doesn't know how to on his own anymore. 

     I lay with him until he falls asleep...which is where I just came from. It breaks my heart to know he is ailing. I took him to the vet and the vet said Jack is just getting old and he's not in any pain. The vet said Jack is senial now, but he knows who I am. Jack is also now blind and deaf.  I lay with him at night and it breaks my heart to know that his end is probably closer than I want to admit. He's been my best friend since the day I adopted him. He can sense how I feel, I know he can.  Tonight while I laid with him, I was crying, petting him and brushing my fingers through his hair behind his ears, to soothe him as his breathing isn't too steady now. He felt my tear drop on his nose as I laid there with him and I told him that I am here for him...and he knew it. He looked up at me as to say "I know mom...I know."

      Tomorrow he will continue to do his circle of life I call it. I call it this because that's all he knows right now, his own circle of life. He may not know where he's going or even if he's been there before but he's determined to keep going. There's a lot to be learned from all of this, no  matter what life deals you, whether you know what it's about or not..you must keep going...even if it is only in circles.

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

The Front Porch of Our Lives

     Communication is the key to all relationships. How we communicate is a vehicle we use to get us to the next level in our relationships. So many times in our lives we become so busy it's easy to forget how important communication means to people. Sure, we text, we use instant messaging on Facebook, AOL, Yahoo!, MSN, Skype and so many other means of "being in touch" with people. If you really look at the conveniences we use today, you'll see how impersonal they really are between people. We have a tendency to use these outlets because it's easier. Is easier really the best way? I have to disagree with you if  you say "yes" to that question.

     I won't argue that these modes of communication don't come in handy, they do. What I'm seeing is, people are using these outlets as a substitute for being personally connected with their friends and families. I understand we don't always have time to pick up the phone and call someone, I get that. It's true it's fun to see what other people are up to even if we have never called them in the past. When we use the medium (like Facebook or Instant Messaging) in place of picking up the phone to call our friends and family, I think we have a real problem.  I like Facebook, don't get me wrong. I'm on Facebook 24/7. We see these threads on there with two people talking about the same topic and sometimes the discussion gets heated, so why not just pick up the phone and discuss it? Is it that we use this medium so other people can see what we're saying and we're hoping someone takes our side and validates what we think is right? Is it more important to be right in a relationship or have resolution? I'm going with resolution on this one.

     When we engage so much in this type of instant messaging behavior it's almost as if we are looking at life through the front porch of our lives. We see things from a distance, we see what other people feel, think, like, dislike, who is friends with whom, who did what, when and so forth. I think it's time we get off the porch and actually go over and visit our neighbor, or at least pick up the phone and call them to see how they're doing. Unless of course you're too busy...than maybe you can just log onto Facebook and if they're a friend of yours on there you can always get their status update to see how they're doing. Life is too short, get off the front porch of life, stop watching and start living. Reach out to the one's you love and pick up the phone. Call them, wouldn't it be nice to see a status update from your friend that says "Heard from an ole friend today, it was great to hear from you"? Instead of seeing an update from that that says something like "took the garbage out today, another rainy day, guess I'll stay indoors today"

Your front porch can wait, your friends and family can't.
 
Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

A Million Hits in .02 Seconds

      I'm not really sure what the actual "Laws of Attraction" means. I'm not going to bother to Google it or Bing it or anything it.Who needs a million hits in .02 seconds?

     I'll be the first to admit I Google and Bing everything. When I say everything, I mean "everything". Just today I Googled "why does my dog pace the floor all day?" I won't bore you with the million hits that only took .02 seconds to retrieve from Google but I will tell you what happened when I hit the enter key after I asked the question to Google. I looked at the screen and I said to myself "I really Googled that?" Sure enough, I "really" did.

     Back in the day, our parents didn't have Google or Bing to use, they used their common sense, yet today we use a place in space created by someone we don't know, never met, and haven't questioned their ability to give true accurate meaning. Interesting, to think we trust sources we can't validate ourselves. If more and more sources copy each other off the internet we're going to find the same answers to the same questions which will validate the meaning to the certain subject we're researching. So does that make our findings valid? Who am I to question? I question everything which is why I send my questions to Google. It's nice to know I can get a million answers in .02 seconds. I've been asking questions all my life and never seem to get an answer. Maybe I should Google "why don't I ever get answers to my questions?" I'm sure the answers will be quite attractive.


Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
O Holy Night (CD/DVD)
The 7th Victim

Why I am Going To Boycott Music Artists

In a recent story published by allaccess.com today.

THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF BROADCASTERS RADIO BOARD OF DIRECTORS has voted in favor of presenting musicFIRST representatives a legislative "Term Sheet" designed to resolve the longstanding performance fee issue. The Radio Board conditioned their support for today's Term Sheet on the understanding that all provisions would remain part of any legislative package. TODAY's vote is subject to ratification by the NAB JOINT BOARD OF DIRECTORS, which will meet TUESDAY afternoon.

"NAB remains 100% opposed to performance fee legislation pending in Congress," said NAB Radio Board Chair CAROLINE BEASLEY, CFO of FLORIDA-based BEASLEY BROADCAST GROUP. "However, in a good faith effort to resolve this issue in the best interests of both radio and the music industry, we have endorsed a solution ensuring that broadcasters have a foothold in digital platforms of tomorrow."

The Term Sheet represents a path forward for radio broadcasters and musicFirst to resolve this contentious issue in a manner that is fair and equitable to both sides.

"Today's endorsement includes provisions that are essential to the future of free and local radio, and we're hopeful that the musicFIRST Coalition finds it in their best interest to say 'yes' to this proposal," BEASLEY said.

Under language included in the Term Sheet, music-playing terrestrial radio stations would agree to pay a limited performance fee, which would be set at between 0.25% and one percent of a station's net revenue, depending on a provision related to the penetration of radio-activated mobile phones in the U.S. Today's endorsement from the NAB Radio Board was made with the understanding that any legislative resolution supported by NAB must include the following:

-- Permanent removal of the Copyright Royalty Board from rate-setting of transmissions of terrestrial on-air music or Internet streaming;

-- Resolution of the "AFTRA issue" outside of the legislative process by the musicFIRST coalition that would facilitate simulcast of over-the-air radio commercials on the Internet;

-- musicFIRST's acknowledgment and recognition of the unparalleled promotional value of terrestrial radio airplay;

-- Simplified airplay reporting requirements similar to the model used by ASCAP/BMI;

-- Congressionally-mandated radio-activated chips in mobile devices such as cell phones and BLACKBERRY smartphones, with an acceptable phase-in period and inclusion of HD Radio chips when economically feasible. If a legislative mandate (which musicFirst has agreed to support) becomes initially unattainable, radio broadcasters would agree to an initial performance fee payment of .25% of net industry revenue. Under this scenario, the performance fee would mirror the actual percentage of radio-activated mobile phones in the United States. Once market penetration of radio-activated mobile devices reaches and maintains a level of 75 percent of all mobile devices, broadcasters agree to pay the full one percent terrestrial transmission performance fee.

-- Assuming a successful mandate of radio-activated chips in mobile devices, streaming rates that broadcasters pay for simulcasts, webcasts and other non-terrestrial transmissions of music through 2016 would be reduced. In the event that a legislative mandate for radio chips in mobile devices is not achieved, the streaming rate reduction would not take effect until 50 percent of mobile phones have radio chips;

The Term Sheet provides accommodations for small radio station operators, noncommercial stations, religious broadcasters and incidental uses of music by news/talk and sports stations.

The Term Sheet also envisions that both the radio and music industry will work cooperatively to offer consumers more and better ways to listen to music.

The Radio Board's action is a culmination of more than a year of discussions and dialogue between radio executives, the NAB and its membership, musicFIRST, and key leaders in Congress. It comes after more than 260 members of the U.S. House of Representatives and 27 members of the U.S. Senate expressed bipartisan opposition to pending Performance Rights Act legislation that was passed out of two committees in Congress last year.

"From a position of strength, we have fashioned a Term Sheet for resolving the performance fee issue that in the long run is acceptable for radio," said NAB Joint Board Chairman STEVE NEWBERRY, President and CEO of KENTUCKY-based COMMONWEALTH BROADCASTING. "No broadcaster that I know relishes paying a new fee, but the terms of this agreement provide badly needed certainty for our business to move forward, and the positives of this accord far out-weigh the negatives."

NAB President and CEO GORDON SMITH said the Term Sheet "represents a path forward for radio broadcasters and musicFirst to resolve this contentious issue in a manner that is fair and equitable to both sides. Radio stations, artists and the record labels have more commonalities than differences, and adoption of legislation that reflects this Term Sheet will provide a framework for untold new revenue opportunities for both sides. We look forward to working with musicFIRST and its allies for swift legislative adoption of this entire package of initiatives that will help our businesses flourish in the digital age."

Get the rest of the story here:
Terms To Be Presented To musicFIRST Coalition | NAB RADIO BOARD News | AllAccess.com

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

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Turn The Stereotyping Off!

There is so much in the current news about stereotyping and the damage it creates to those who practice the art of stereotyping. I call it an "Art" because it's not politically correct to stereotype, so instead we justify it by saying "it's just my opinion". As in the stories below, you can see these comments are by people in the middle who get paid to give their "opinions".

      Keep in mind, these people are in the mass media circut who have the power to influence many at the same time. Last week on the show "The View" the hosts had Bill O'Reilly on as a guest. They were all talking about the mosque being built at Ground Zero in New York City. Some of the hosts felt it's matter of a "right" to build it there and the other hosts felt like it was inappropriate to have it built it there. Bill O'Reilly came on the show as a guest to voice his opinion on the matter and his "stereotypical" comment about the Muslims caused two of the hosts to walk of the show in the middle of a live taping. You can see the video here:  The View with Bill O'Reilly  . Bill O'Reilly goes on to say it was "The Muslims" who killed us on 9/11" So in other words he stereotyped all Muslims as terrorists. I'm sure if you ask him, his comment will be "it's just my opinion" like he says in the video. You can see the discussion on what Bill O'Reilly  said here: Joy Baher Show Addresses Bill O'Reilly

      Speaking of Muslims, there is a story in the NPR news today about terminating the contract of a longtime news analyst Juan Williams. They terminated his contract based on his remarks he made about Muslims on the Fox News Channel with Bill O'Reilly. This is what he said on the O'Reilly Factor to Bill O'Reilly.

                       "Look, Bill, I'm not a bigot. You know the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this

                        country. But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you

                        know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous."

                       (Folkenflik, 2010).

     My question is, whatever happened to fair reporting as journalists?

     Now, we have even more news about stereotyping in this country.  How about the military's plan on what they plan on doing to allow Gay's in the military? How stereotypical can you get? As a member of the Air Force, let me tell you; I know a lot of gay people in the military and not once has their sexual preference hindered their ability to perform their duties in the military. Many of the "gay people" in the military were better workers than the "Straight " members. "Pentagon officials told NBC News on Thursday the military will immediately resume enforcement of the 1993 "don't ask, don't tell" rule. The policy says gay's may serve but only if they keep secret their sexual orientation"(NBC, 2010) . Personally, I find it ironic that the same freedom our military members fight for is the same freedom being taken away from them.

     Basically, we can see just by these three examples alone how detrimental this is to someone. It can end jobs at it did with the NPR correspondent, it can create frustrations as it did in the show "The View" and it can also alienate people like the story about the "gay's" in the military. Sad to think we live a world where people have nothing better to do then to pass judgment on others. In some cases, it takes an act of congress literally to prove you're just as valuable as some one who is different than you.



Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki
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Who Are You Anyway

     Some of you may not like what I'm about to write but I feel compelled to write about it. So, just bare with me and keep an open mind. Ya know, I read the Bible and I research things in it and I re-read it and I try to make sense out of it. It actually DOES make sense. I was talking with a friend earlier today and she was telling about a friend she has who gets plastic surgery done. Her friend has no medical conditions, nothing that needed cosmetic repair; her friend just does it to "look better". I looked in the Bible and nowhere did it say Eve went and had plastic surgery to make herself look better. Nowhere does it state that we as humans need to engage in such a horrific act.

     Seriously, is it that you are so insecure of yourself you feel compelled to go under the knife? Or even get a needle stuck in your forehead a couple of times to make yourself look better? I don't understand why people do this to themselves. If it is because you need it for cosmetic reasons (because you became disfigured from an accident or etc...) I get that and I understand that. But, when you are perfectly healthy and you're aging and you want to look younger..WHY? What is it about growing older you're afraid of? Have you not researched what extensive cosmetic surgery can do to you? Why are you afraid to look at yourself in the mirror each day and face the real YOU?

     I have never had plastic surgery done and I pray I will never need it because of circumstances beyond my control. You know in the Bible it says our body is a Temple. God, did not say to make it better under false pretenses. My friends, friend has had a nose job, a boob job, botox and who knows what else is diminishing her own Temple created by God. All I'm saying is; be happy who you are, from the inside out. How can you be happy with your outsides if it something you did not create? The botox is POISON and yet you feel the need to inject it into your forehead? And... you choose to manipulate the work of God?

If God were to come see you today...would he recognize you...or would he ask "Who Are You Anyway?"



Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

I Think I Know You - You're ME!

A lot of times, I get emails from readers asking for advice on certain things going on in their lives. I enjoy all the emails I get so thanks for sending them! Recently, I received an email from a lady named "Diane". I'll call her "Diane" for the sake of my blog and her story. This was her email to me:

Sept 6, 2010

Dear Nikki,

You don't know me, but I think I know who you are...you're ME! I read your blog every day and when I read it, I feel like you're living MY life. You write about things that seem to happen in my life. I don't know how you do it, but I feel like you're talking right to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a stalker (lol) but I really love reading your blogs. You are very insightful and you speak from your heart, something that is not easy for me to do. I have a question for you and you can feel free to post my question in your blog, maybe someone else is or has gone through what I have been going through. I need your help Nikki.

I'm 47 years old, a mother of 4 and I'm married to a man I really no longer find no enjoyment to be with. For the past 5 or 6 years, I've been depressed. Although I haven't been diagnosed with depression, I feel depressed all the time. You always seem to be upbeat and right on. My question is: how do you stay so upbeat and not let life get you down? How do you cope with things when you're depressed?

Thanks for your time,
advent Nikki Landry fan.

What a great email from "Diane". I was pleased to know that she offered her email to be published because depression is a very hard thing to go through life with. There's a difference between being sad and being depressed. Depression not only affects your mind, spirit and soul but it also affects your health. It's important to seek medical help with depression. I'm not sure of the severity of her depression but she mentions it's been for years. I would suggest Diane seek medical help. I would ask her to see a Psychologist for help. Many times people think seeing a Psychologist (or Shrinks for the slang term) is a bad thing to do. My question is Why? It's actually the "In" thing to do. Ask any celebrity they all have shrinks. I even have one. Who cares if I have to pay someone to listen to my problems and help me through them? At least SOMEONE is listening to me, and someone who can show me how to get better at being the person I was meant to be.

Diane also asked how do I stay so upbeat all the time? Well, keep in mind I'm an entertainer so part of my job is be "upbeat" and entertaining. When I re-focus my energy onto things that are good; I get happy. When I take my mind off of "me" I feel better. So, if you're having a hard time being happy, then take your mind off yourself, go do something NICE for someone else. Have you ever wondered when you go to the doctor because you're sick you almost always feel better as soon as you walk into the hospital? Why? because you're mind is on something else other than YOU. So, go get happy, do something for someone else for a change. Stop thinking only about yourself, go volunteer somewhere...trust me there are people out there who could use your help.

Thanks to Diane for her email. If you'd like to email me with a question please do so in the leave a comment box. All comments come to my personal email before they get approved to be shown in the comments box.

 
Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki