The Circle of Life

      As I sit here in my kitchen wearing my white Royal Caribbean Cruise bath robe, tears fall down my face. I have a candle lit, there's the sounds of classical music mixed with nature sounds playing in the background. I have a puppy named Bennie pictured left. Bennie is 3 years old and a really good boy. He's healthy, well balanced and very playful according to his vet and his trainer.

Bennie isn't the one I'm writing about.

I'm writing about his "brother" Jack (pictured left) Jack has been with me since he was born 14 years ago. 

      Being 14 years old in dog years is pretty old. That's how old Jack is. He always acted like he was 5 years old...until 3 weeks ago. Keep in mind, I've had jack for 14 years so within those years together; we've moved 6 times, lived in 6 different states (because of my job), we've driven together across the country twice, hes' met my boyfriends throughout the years, some he liked, some he didn't. He always had the best of everything, after all, he is like a son to me. I've never had children but he's been the closest there could be for me.

     A few weeks ago, I noticed his behavior changing and his motor skills slowing down. His appetite decreased and he didn't really drink too much water. Lately, he's been eating more and drinking a lot of water. But something else happened while his appetite increased his memory has decreased. He now paces the houses for 10 hours a day and just circles the parameter of the house..constantly. His brain no longer knows how to tell him to rest. Each day I have to put him in my bedroom and psychically lay him down as he doesn't know how to on his own anymore. 

     I lay with him until he falls asleep...which is where I just came from. It breaks my heart to know he is ailing. I took him to the vet and the vet said Jack is just getting old and he's not in any pain. The vet said Jack is senial now, but he knows who I am. Jack is also now blind and deaf.  I lay with him at night and it breaks my heart to know that his end is probably closer than I want to admit. He's been my best friend since the day I adopted him. He can sense how I feel, I know he can.  Tonight while I laid with him, I was crying, petting him and brushing my fingers through his hair behind his ears, to soothe him as his breathing isn't too steady now. He felt my tear drop on his nose as I laid there with him and I told him that I am here for him...and he knew it. He looked up at me as to say "I know mom...I know."

      Tomorrow he will continue to do his circle of life I call it. I call it this because that's all he knows right now, his own circle of life. He may not know where he's going or even if he's been there before but he's determined to keep going. There's a lot to be learned from all of this, no  matter what life deals you, whether you know what it's about or not..you must keep going...even if it is only in circles.

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

The Front Porch of Our Lives

     Communication is the key to all relationships. How we communicate is a vehicle we use to get us to the next level in our relationships. So many times in our lives we become so busy it's easy to forget how important communication means to people. Sure, we text, we use instant messaging on Facebook, AOL, Yahoo!, MSN, Skype and so many other means of "being in touch" with people. If you really look at the conveniences we use today, you'll see how impersonal they really are between people. We have a tendency to use these outlets because it's easier. Is easier really the best way? I have to disagree with you if  you say "yes" to that question.

     I won't argue that these modes of communication don't come in handy, they do. What I'm seeing is, people are using these outlets as a substitute for being personally connected with their friends and families. I understand we don't always have time to pick up the phone and call someone, I get that. It's true it's fun to see what other people are up to even if we have never called them in the past. When we use the medium (like Facebook or Instant Messaging) in place of picking up the phone to call our friends and family, I think we have a real problem.  I like Facebook, don't get me wrong. I'm on Facebook 24/7. We see these threads on there with two people talking about the same topic and sometimes the discussion gets heated, so why not just pick up the phone and discuss it? Is it that we use this medium so other people can see what we're saying and we're hoping someone takes our side and validates what we think is right? Is it more important to be right in a relationship or have resolution? I'm going with resolution on this one.

     When we engage so much in this type of instant messaging behavior it's almost as if we are looking at life through the front porch of our lives. We see things from a distance, we see what other people feel, think, like, dislike, who is friends with whom, who did what, when and so forth. I think it's time we get off the porch and actually go over and visit our neighbor, or at least pick up the phone and call them to see how they're doing. Unless of course you're too busy...than maybe you can just log onto Facebook and if they're a friend of yours on there you can always get their status update to see how they're doing. Life is too short, get off the front porch of life, stop watching and start living. Reach out to the one's you love and pick up the phone. Call them, wouldn't it be nice to see a status update from your friend that says "Heard from an ole friend today, it was great to hear from you"? Instead of seeing an update from that that says something like "took the garbage out today, another rainy day, guess I'll stay indoors today"

Your front porch can wait, your friends and family can't.
 
Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki