A Spoonful of Grateful

        For the past couple of days, I have to admit I haven’t been in the best of moods. No reason really, I just wasn’t in a good mood. I seemed to be complaining a lot to people about things that I wanted them to fix but they had no control to do so. I call this my impatience factor. There are times where I can be impatient. I think we all can at times. However, when your impatience comes across negative to someone, not only does it hurt the other person and makes them feel incompetent but it also leaves you feeling worse than the mood you were in to begin with. For this, I am truly sorry for those around me for the past couple of days who had to deal with me being anything other than the fun loving person I am and I try to be everyday.


        It wasn’t until today when I had a conversation with one of my co workers that she mentioned to me, that both she and I both were “not feeling it” that we were just in bad moods for the past couple of days. She said to me “I think what we should do is just start making a list of the top 5 things we’re grateful for.” I couldn’t agree more. Too many times we focus on the negative in our lives because it’s easier to hurt than it is to feel happy. It actually takes more muscles to smile than it does to frown. After she suggested the “list” to me, I thought what a great idea. I personally and professionally have so much to be grateful for and I’m guilty of not reflecting on what I have to be thankful for. I wanted to share my “gratefuls” with you, in hopes that you too take the time to remind yourself what you have to be thankful for.

       You do not need to post your “spoonful of grateful” here, but if you want to, I’d love to read yours. We all have things in our lives to be grateful for and today I wanted to start and share my list with you. Keep in mind; these are in no particular order, just my thoughts as they appear to me now as I type to you.


Things I’m Grateful for Today:


1) Having a great radio career where I get to talk to you everyday.
2) Living in the best city in the country (New Orleans).
3) Having true friends who stand by me no matter what.
4) Having a nice place to live
5) Having my family close enough so I can visit by driving there.


       These are just 5 of my gratefuls for today. I didn’t mention health on here because I am always grateful to have that and I narrowed it down to the top 5 of today. I’d love to hear your top 5 gratefuls if you’d like to share them on here. It doesn’t have to be a big huge list, just a spoonful.



Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

In The Fires of Hell - Andrea Yates

     Chills consume the vertebrates of my spin while I continue to research the unfortunately well known story of Andrea Yates. She was a mother of five children, a stellar student, a valedictorian and a nurse. However, today she is known as being a murderer of her five children. “In 1993, she married Rusty Yates, who was a disciple of preacher Michael Peter Woroniecki.” (A&E Television, 2010) Six years after she was married, she “was treated for postpartum depression and psychosis, illnesses that ran in her family.” (A&E Television, 2010) Andrea went into severe depression following the birth of her fifth child and the death of her father. Her depression was so severe she was admitted unwillingly into a hospital known as The Devereux-Texas Treatment Network. Her doctor, Dr. Mohammed Saeed who prescribed her the series of psychotropic drug treatments, also “abruptly tapered off the antipsychotic Haldol, a medication that helped Andrea recover in 1999.” (A&E Television, 2010)    

   

       In 1986 Andrea Yates, graduated from the University of Texas School of Nursing. From 1986 to 1994 she worked as a registered nurse at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. In 2001, within an hours time of her husband leaving her and her mother-in-law on the way to visit her, Andrea Yates drowned all five of her children in the bathtub. Five years later, “On July 26, 2006, Yates was found not guilty by reason of insanity and was committed to North Texas State Hospital.” (A&E Television, 2010) During the same year prior to her murders, Andrea Yates “had a history of psychiatric hospitalizations and two suicide attempts, was later diagnosed with postpartum depression with psychotic features and schizophrenia.” (RUIZ. R., 2006) According to the The National Institute of Mental Health, Postpartum depression is defined as:

                       Biological changes in mothers that occur after childbirth are

                       often accompanied by significant changes in family roles and

                       responsibilities as well. Generally, postpartum depression (PPD)

                       is thought to be associated with the drastic changes in hormone

                       levels that occur during and just after pregnancy. (Insel, MD., 2010)

       Although a general definition above, the type of depression Andrea Yates had was more intensified as it was accompanied with psychotic features and schizophrenia. This type of depression “occurs when a severe depressive illness is accompanied by some form of psychosis, such as a break with reality, hallucinations, and delusions.” (Insel, MD., 2010) Andrea Yates believed she was the devil. “she lived for months with confused thoughts not only about right and wrong but also about good and evil--because she believed she was the devil.” (Roche, 2002)  While Andrea Yates was being arrested she said “I was so stupid. Could I have killed just one to fulfill the prophecy? Could I have offered Mary [her youngest]?"(Roche, 2002)

Page 2 - Behaviors and The Treatments

Page 3 - Brief Discussion of Her Court Case / Discussion

Page 4 - Whether or Not I Agree or Disagree With The Courts' Decision

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Wanna A Great Air Check?

     I'm a recent major market on air personality in radio. Now, I want to help YOU sound the best you can on the air. Radio needs great sounding jocks on the air and I want YOU to be one of them. I've done radio in just about all market sizes. I've done radio from market 165 all the way up to market 4 and I've accomplished this from only being on the air full time under 7 years. I have a proven track record of consistently being one of the top ranked shows in my markets. I've also taught radio communications at George Mason University as a guest speaker.

     I can show you how to get noticed in the radio business, have a really great air check that will stand out from the rest, and make a great resume' to get their attention.

     Submit your air check to me and I can edit it for you. I will also give you honest feedback and help you become a better air talent. I can also help with building your resume too.

     Wanna have a better air check? Contact me. I can also help in writing copy for your endorsements as well.


     Feel free to listen to my demo on the demo page to the left. I can also put your demo into video form as well. It's free to send me your demo. Email me for more information and how I can help you.

 
Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Bad Career Advice From Good Parents.

           Six months into being unemployed I find I'm still having to answer to my parents as to why I haven't been able to get a job yet. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind answering to my parents even if I am over 40 years old. However, what they don't realize these days is the hiring process has changed so much since their days of employment. It used to be when you were looking for a job you could apply to the job by either walking into the place of business or making a phone call to see if they're hiring. I remember when I could walk into a Red Lobster restaurant and inquire "within" about the job they had posted on the window. Today, I went there to see if they were hiring and I got the answer "We're always looking for the best people" so, I said "Great!, may I fill out an application?" The manager told me I had to apply online, so I did and I have to wait until I hear back from someone from the website who saw my resume I sent into a big huge folder somewhere with the company.

       Speaking of waiting. This is something our parents do not get at all when one of their kids is trying to get a job. I have to admit, I'm very fortunate that since I have been unemployed in my field of radio I have had many, many, many interviews.  I've had a lot of interest from radio stations for my talent. What I'm finding out when I speak with these stations is they aren't necessarily in a hurry to hire. I think they are in reality but with the economy and such I can understand how things get delayed and the budget may not allow to hire someone immediately. When you're unemployed, immediately can't come quick enough. I've had 12 radio interviews and so far, I have 4 radio stations interested in me. The positions they want to fill are currently vacant so it's good to know no one is going to lose a job if they decide to hire me.

      My parents do not really understand when I tell them I haven't heard anything back from (such and such station) or if I did hear back from them, that the hiring process is just going to take longer than expected. I understand how the delays happen and I'm willing to sit it out and wait for that perfect fit.  All along the way I and a few of my friends in the same business have been given advice from our parents on how to get the attention of the managers at the radio stations. I've listed some of the things our parents have told us to do.

• Keep calling until they answer
• If you get a voice mail, do not leave a message...call back until they answer
• Where the short skirt, but not too short
• Make up should be light
• Don't wear too much perfume
• If you can't get a hold of the manager, call THEIR boss
• If you can't get a hold of THEIR boss, call THEIR boss, keep going up the chain
• Deliver your resume in person, don't email it
• Ask them what the hold up is
• Tell them you're dead broke and you want the job and you need to start tomorrow
• If they won't let you start tomorrow tell them you'll work for the competition 

       Things like the above they mentioned to us, and honestly some of them aren't too bad. Some of them...well common sense would tell you not to use them. If you can think of things YOUR parents told you to do to get the attention of the hiring official reply to my post and I'll add them to the list.

 
Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Employing The Unemployed

The homeless man who had more integrity than corporate America...

"Will Work 4 Food", "Please help, homeless vet needs food". We've all seen signs like this from people on the streets looking for our hand outs. Not too long ago, I was living in San Francisco. The first day I get to the city, I see a man on the corner holding a sign that read "Need Money For A Hooker, too ugly to get laid without one" I laughed when I saw this. I actually gave the man $5.00. I didn't give him the $5.00 to get a hooker, but I gave it to him because he was honest. Does it pay to be honest in today's world? It did for this guy.

       Being unemployed is crazy, isn't it? If you're like me and somehow we let our careers define who we are and we're unemployed we feel like no one. I was talking with a friend the other day and he said "Nikki, your work doesn't define who you are, but it defines a part of what you do." I found this so interesting. When I was working, people would ask "who are you?" And I would tell them "I'm a major market on air personality" (because that WAS my job). Not once did I ever answer who I was..I always answered what I did. Interesting to think about that now. If someone were to ask me who I was today would I reply "unemployed"? I don't think so, I think I would reply "I'm currently working towards my Masters in Psychology" (since that's what I'm doing now). Funny how we identify who we are by only the good things we accomplish in life. I guess no one wants to hear the bad stuff...

      This brings me to being unemployed. Since when does being "unemployed" make you less desirable for companies to hire? Statistics show; you're worth more money to another company when you're employed looking for another job. Really? You mean to tell me, I'm worth more money to another company if I'm seeking other employment at the same time I'm employed? Hmmmm, where's the logic in that? What I'm hearing is, it's okay to be disloyal to the company who is paying me? I'm not sure I'd want to work  for a company who thinks that's okay to do while I'm employed by someone else.

Looks like the homeless man I saw in San Francisco holding the "hooker" sign has more honesty than corporate America.

Since money is extremely scarce now, I'm thankful I've saved most of my receipts from things I was bale to afford in the past. It seems now my savings plan consists of returning items to the store so I can get enough cash for food and gas. It's a shame to be living in such a free world which doesn't allow us to be free to choose what direction we can go in life. I've applied at certain jobs which were way  below my educational level and experience only to find out, I was "too over qualified" for the position. I have some advice for companies, if you're looking to hire the best; now is the time. Some of the best qualified people are out of work now, and take it from me...we're on Sale

Until Next Time, Much Love, Nikki

Relationships Are Like Our Kitchen

Relationships ARE like our kitchen. Depending on how your kitchen is laid out can say a lot about how you view your relationships in life. Think about it for a minute. We all have cabinets, we all put certain things in their certain places and we know they're there if we need to use them. How does this all play a part within our relationships? Well, if you have a scattered kitchen and things aren't placed in their perspective places we get lost trying to find them.

In our minds we do the same thing in relationships. We meet someone and we put them in "our cabinet" we compartmentalize them. We ask ourselves questions about the other person. Do I like this person? Is he/she just a friend? Are they a potential lover? Are they someone I want to have a long lasting relationship with? Or is this person just someone who passed through my life? Does that passage have a meaning? When we decide on these factors we put them into a category... or a cabinet. If we like this person as a friend, we put them into the "friends category" (something like where we would store our mixer) because we don't use it every day. If this same person is thought to be a potential lover, we may put them into the "coffee" canister, something most of us access every day.

The question comes to mind of "What if I'm  not sure where to put them?" Then this is where your kitchen gets cluttered...this is where we put our mail...on the counter until we decide what to do with it. We all have departments of our compartments but how we manage those compartments is what defines how we mange our relationships. 




Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

The Educated Ego

     With unemployment being so high these days it's important to "sell" ourselves to the potential employer. We're all in this game called "Life". It's been 4 months since I've been able to land a gig in radio. It's not because I'm too picky on where I want to work, but it may be due to the way I thought I had to "sell" myself to the potential employer.

     During the interview process we all get asked the same dreaded question of "Tell me about yourself".  I'm a firm believer not too  many people like to talk about themselves...unless they have a big ego. Today, I was proposed a question about the ego and being in the radio business versus being in the corporate world.  I was on Facebook and a friend asked me this question : ""Nikki, why is it in radio when you're confident you're considered having an ego, and in the corporate world having confidence means you're educated?" My reply? Interesting concept, I'll go ask the panel." So, I asked "the panel" on Facebook. 


Here's what "the panel" had to say...with their permission.


 - "It depends on HOW the confidence is displayed. Many times EGO is misread as confidence."

 - "But in this business, if you are good, you have to have some ego, confidence. With out it, you are just average. So, I am an educated radio personality... call it what you want, just be great at it."

- "There is a difference between ego and arrogance WITH ego. There is no room for a diva in any business..... and most divas DON'T have the talent to back it up. :)"

 - "Doing a great job every day, and being confident in doing it, nothing wrong with that. While some may see that as an EGO thing, it's really more about what you see when the mirror reflects you back. I think the ego part may come in when you have air talent that always TELLS you how confident they are. When that happens, you have to wonder if maybe they're not all that confident or talented to begin with." 

      Then my reply came: "I'm lucky enough I've never been told I was a Diva or I had an ego. The problem is when PD's automatically think you have an ego because a) you're from a major market or b) you're good on the air. I had a PD once tell me "here we all leave... our ego's at the door." I was like "ok" but then I thought to myself what she was actually saying was "I know you think you're all that because you're from a major market but...I really don't want to invest my time with you, or I don't know how to make you better". I think I'm educated enough to know the difference between real PD's and those who fake it to keep their jobs. The one's who fake it never make a decision and they pass the buck. The one's who make it, take chances and help mold the air talent. So far, I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by great PD's who helped shape the air talent I am today. I didn't get this way alone. Does this make me egotistical or confident in my talent?"

      The next person continued in the thread by saying : 

- "That makes you confident in your talent. And that's a very good thing."

- "Having confidence is not the same as having an ego (they are not exclusive of each other). Having an ego (huge one that people talk negatively about) comes across as being a "Diva". Thinking, or in the case of radio, talking about yoursel...f all the time (as though the world revolves around you, and only you). Being confident just means you know what you are doing, know you can do the job, and know you can do it right. Sometimes confidence is misplaced, just as a huge ego can be misplaced, in that regard they are equal.

Does this answer your question?"

     Then I reply: "Yes. I see your point and I agree with you. How would you approach a situation (and this could help others too when applying for a job). How would you approach a situation where the interviewer asks the "horrible" question of "So tell me about yourself" ? I think sometimes in radio when we DO, do that it may come across egotistical. Any suggestions on how to answer this without sounding egotistical?"

     Then another person chimed in: "Nikki, somehow your response isn't showing (but I did get the email with your question). When in an interview, you can be confident in your abilities, but to keep the ego in check by admitting you can't do it all on your own. All the people in the background, that listeners never know about, help too. Talk about how you listen to others, incorporating their good ideas into your show, etc. That way you come across as confident, but not egotistical."

Then lastly: "Listening! What a great concept that so many have forgotten."

      So, after reading everyone's comments, it led me to believe there is actually a difference in being educated and having an ego. If you're smart you'll know how to use your ego  to make it look like you don't have one. If all you have is an ego then chances are, that's the only thing you have to bring to the table for a potential employer. Anyone with a healthy ego knows, ego's can be lifted, created, shattered and nurtured.

     When is it okay to display your ego? When do we say, "hey, I AM good enough for this position so why not hire ME"? Do we ever have that right to say that, do we even dare to say that? What if it's your confidence speaking out loud and NOT your ego?

The way potential employers see us depends on how educated our ego has become.



Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

The Art Of Writing About Nothing

     Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone wants to know they're being heard. No one likes to be ignored. Regardless of the nature of us writing or speaking it's essential we are heard. There are times we come across people who just love to talk. Yes, and we're forced to listen to them because anything BUT paying attention to them is impolite. I'd like to know where is it written that I must stop everything I'm doing just to hear someone speak about something I have no interest in. I have to admit, I do it out of sheer mannerism.

      Have you ever met those type of people who talk just to reassure themselves their still alive? I have. They commentate on everything. You could be watching a tv show with them and every scene they have to make a comment. Every commercial that comes on tv they have something to say about it. You try your hardest to ignore them in hopes they get the message you don't want to engage in conversation when your favorite show is on, yet they continue to talk away.

     Don't get me wrong if what they had to say was important to me, I'd pay more attention to what they have to say. Most people only truly listen to other people when they find the conversation is important to the one listening. You could basically talk about nothing but if you include their name in the conversation, they are more apt to listen AND comment on your conversation. Humans are so egocentric. The same people who love to talk during shows or while you're busy concentrating are the same people who will talk about you behind your back. Did you know that? It's true. They'll be the first one's to talk to you about someone else. They love to gossip...we all do. I just ask please don't do it with me while I'm watching Grey's Anatomy.


     Why can't I just sit here as I am and just babble on and on about nothing? I did. That is the art of writing about nothing.
Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki

Monkey See...Monkey Do...or Do We?

            Bandura’s Observational Learning concept is brilliant. When we look at Bandura's observational of learning and how it's influenced, we see four variables. There is the Attentional processes, which determines what we can and do attend to. We have The Retentional processes, which this tells us how we remember what we saw. We have The Motor reproduction processes, this tells us how we act out what we remember seeing. Lastly, we have The Motivational processes, which determine the circumstances under which learning is translated into performance. (Hergenhahn & Olson, 2007, p. 355).

             Why might these learning concepts be important to consider with the content of television programs, the internet, films, video games and the various forms of “new media?” Well, here are some facts which I researched to show exactly how important this impact has on someone's life. The main focus on my research was the influence of media to adolescents. Recent studies have shown violent media exposed to adolescents who engage in the act of acting out aggressive behavior in a video game leads to aggression after the game completed. Adolescents who actively engage in violent video games show more signs of aggression than if they did not engage in violent video games. Reinforcement is not dependent on learning. I happen to disagree with this. People will often learn more and retain more information and even act our behavior more if there is a positive reinforcement associated with it.Some people use aggression as a form of gaining a reward for their behavior. When a person imitates a certain behavior of aggression and they get rewarded for it, chances are they will continue that behavior to gain the reward again. Take terrorists for example, when they threaten us, we (the media) “reward” them by giving them highly publicized awareness of them. “Television programs, acts of assault have outnumbered affectionate acts four to nine” (Myers, 2010, p. 377). This is due in partly because children do what they see and learn.

            My question is...if all of this is true (which I believe it to be based on my research) then how do we explain the shootings at Columbine High school? These kids who did this mass murdering came from a very well established home. Yet, “on April 20, 1999, during which they killed 13 people and injured more than 20. With a geophysicist for a father and a mother who worked with the disabled. His family was upper middle class; his father had a successful mortgage business.”(A&E Television, 2000)

                                                                                                   Reference
A&E Television, Initials. (2000). Crime files. Retrieved from http://www.biography.com/notorious/crimefiles.do?catId=259458&action=view&profileId=260623
Hergenhahn, B.R., & Olson, M.H. (2007). Theories of Personality (7th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki