Relationships ARE like our kitchen. Depending on how your kitchen is laid out can say a lot about how you view your relationships in life. Think about it for a minute. We all have cabinets, we all put certain things in their certain places and we know they're there if we need to use them. How does this all play a part within our relationships? Well, if you have a scattered kitchen and things aren't placed in their perspective places we get lost trying to find them. In our minds we do the same thing in relationships. We meet someone and we put them in "our cabinet" we compartmentalize them. We ask ourselves questions about the other person. Do I like this person? Is he/she just a friend? Are they a potential lover? Are they someone I want to have a long lasting relationship with? Or is this person just someone who passed through my life? Does that passage have a meaning? When we decide on these factors we put them into a category... or a cabinet. If we like this person as a friend, we put them into the "friends category" (something like where we would store our mixer) because we don't use it every day. If this same person is thought to be a potential lover, we may put them into the "coffee" canister, something most of us access every day. The question comes to mind of "What if I'm not sure where to put them?" Then this is where your kitchen gets cluttered...this is where we put our mail...on the counter until we decide what to do with it. We all have departments of our compartments but how we manage those compartments is what defines how we mange our relationships.
Remind me after driving an 11 hour drive to go see my family that I do not need a cup of coffee when I come home. Nothing like being wide awake and sleepy at the same time...if that's even possible.
Tomorrow I will post pictures of my trip when I went to see my family and also pictures of my trip to The Big Apple where I was "on the air" at our sister stations WPLJ and NASH-FM in New York. I'll also post my "behind the scenes" video and pictures of when I was on the set of Good Morning America.
Three baileys in tonight I decided to get the courage to talk about what the media seems to think is a big deal about Paula Deen. Here's the story, she said it...years ago. She said so and so was "black as this board" does that make her a racist? Seriously? You think THAT makes her a racist? Get a grip people. You mean to tell me when someone says "He/She was "white as a ghost" is racist too? What has this world come too?
What about the song "Thriftshop" by Macklamore he says in his song "that's a cold ass honkey" should I take offense because I'm white? No! Has anyone boycotted THAT song? No! What about, the rappers who sing about the "N" word? Do we boycott THOSE songs? No! Why is it we have to single out Paula Deen for this? Please explain this to me. One of my friends on Facebook recently said to me "what about Chris Brown, Kayne West, Snoop Dog, 50 Cent, who all use 'that word'...its a double standard...if you or I say it, we are racist, but they throw it around like its nothing...Is it offensive?? Then NO One should use it" He makes a valid point.
I'm not saying I support Paula Deen, nor am I saying she's wrong. What I'm saying is it's such a shame that America has come to this point where we all just look for stuff to hurt people with. I'm pretty sure Paula Deen meant no harm in what she said. The mere fact that her advertisers are pulling from her, is just terrible. They're the one's who are racist. They're the one's who are separating the color in this world. To me, the only people who see color are those making a big deal about it. Wake up people, we live in world where there is no color, only the colors of the rainbow...and rainbows hold no judgement.
The whole "Median with the Deen" lies in the middle. If you want to blame her for being racist then maybe you should look in the mirror and decide whether or not you're part of the society who helps create the color separation in this world. For me, I see no color... perhaps we should all do the same.
Creating a blog is one thing, getting people to visit it is another. I look at my stats daily and I have a lot of repeat readers (thanks!) but how do I get new readers to my blog? Let's face it, everyone who writes a blog feels they have something very important to write about or else they wouldn't be writing about it. (including myself :) ) For the past few days I have been searching on how to get free traffic to your blog and there are countless ways to get free traffic. The problem is, I think these methods I've found all use a robot sort of thing to get you more hits. I see hits coming to my site mostly from the US but sometimes I see hits coming from all over the world. I'm sure some robot somewhere picked up my blog address and put it into a system to generate these "hits". Maybe you could leave me a comment or follow my blog to prove you're human. Then again, that's run by a robot too, since I can't see who follows me I can only see the amount of followers. I really don't want robots reading my blog, seems so impersonal...or maybe it's a good thing having Robots Hitting My Blog?
I stayed up until 3 am this morning as I couldn't sleep between my tears. I've never been so hurt before by someone I care for so much. Sometimes, honesty is the best policy, other times, it's best to just keep quiet. Tonight, I wished I kept quiet. For the past three days, I've said some terrible things to him which I'm sorry for. I found out last night, that what I'm feeling is resentment and insecurity. I'm secure with my professional life but my personal life leaves me vulnerable and alone. I know that I must try to be a better person and do good things for other people in order to feel better about myself. But when I do good things for someone, I don't feel the sense of appreciation. Jealousy becomes me, and does not look good on me. I'm not a bitter person, I am a hurt person. For once in my life I thought I found that one special guy who was different than all the others. Last night, I learned he is not. He's a good man, a good person and a wonderful human being. I deserve this man, but I know I do not deserve to hurt him. I hurt him by my mistrust and my selfish insecurities. Although he gives me no reason to mistrust him or to feel insecure, my mind tries to convince me otherwise. My heart knows better, but my mind argues and wrestles with emotions. Why must I sabotage every relationship? What is it that is in me to feel so insecure in my personal life? The closer I get to someone the more I do not trust them.
A slue of emotions run through me. Between confusion, despair, happiness, thankfulness and resentment. It's not easy to understand why I have these feelings although a part of me would like to think it's because of my current relationship or lack there of one. Last night we talked and I found out a lot about myself. For one, I tend to over react to situations I have no control over. I'm starting to think the reason I get so frustrated and jealous is because it's a lack of control in my relationship. I understand how he feels when he says he just wants everything light and happy. No drama, no stress. He says he wants what we have to work and I also want that with us. I asked him what “this” was and he said he didn't know. He said he doesn't want to be in a heavy committed relationship with anyone. I get that, I understand that; but somehow along the way I failed to believe that. It was in my own mind which I placed a relationship status on us. Although at times in my mind I kind of thought those same words he said, my heart felt differently.
Am I to blame for the way I feel? Am I making it more than it should be? He feels so. He feels I'm blowing things out of proportion and I have nothing to worry about. He told me he has done nothing wrong and has never been with anyone else intimately since we started living together. I believe him. He expects me to be patient and take things light, yet I get so jealous when he's out with other co-workers having dinner and drinking. I feel left out. Perhaps there is a deeper issue with him that I am not aware of. I only wish he would open up to me and tell me, perhaps this could explain a lot to me and give me some more understanding. I can't continue to feel this is my fault the way things are going now. Nor will I be to blame. I will however, bide by his wishes to not be a pain in his ass. I realize there are many things I need to work on in this relationship, if it is even a relationship. According to him, it is but not a romantic one. Can I be in a relationship and not be romantically involved? I can if that relationship means only being roommates. The question is, can I be just his roommate or is this When Two's A Crowd?
Okay, there's a contest going on in the radio world right now and I NEED YOUR VOTE!! The Winner gets these really cool headphones which are worth a lot of money and I really want to win these. Look how cool they are, they're badass!
Here's how you vote: Go to this page http://www.thekayelist.com/hottest-women-in-radio-2013-nominations/ and put in this information: Name: Nikki Landry Station: WWWM-FM City: Toledo. They (Mark Kayne) will send you an email to confirm your vote (check your spam folder it may go in there). Thanks for your vote!! I really want to win these headphones... Until Next Time, Much Love, Nikki
Relationships ARE like our kitchen. Depending on how your kitchen is laid out can say a lot about how you view your relationships in life. Think about it for a minute. We all have cabinets, we all put certain things in their certain places and we know they're there if we need to use them. How does this all play a part within our relationships? Well, if you have a scattered kitchen and things aren't placed in their perspective places we get lost trying to find them. In our minds we do the same thing in relationships. We meet someone and we put them in "our cabinet" we compartmentalize them. We ask ourselves questions about the other person. Do I like this person? Is he/she just a friend? Are they a potential lover? Are they someone I want to have a long lasting relationship with? Or is this person just someone who passed through my life? Does that passage have a meaning? When we decide on these factors we put them into a category... or a cabinet. If we like this person as a friend, we put them into the "friends category" (something like where we would store our mixer) because we don't use it every day. If this same person is thought to be a potential lover, we may put them into the "coffee" canister, something most of us access every day. The question comes to mind of "What if I'm not sure where to put them?" Then this is where your kitchen gets cluttered...this is where we put our mail...on the counter until we decide what to do with it. We all have departments of our compartments but how we manage those compartments is what defines how we mange our relationships.
It's not everyday that I get to write. As much as I love to write in my Blog, I really don't have the time. The title of my blog tonight was chosen by one of my Facebook friends, Joe. I asked for my friends to come up with a subject for me to write about tonight, and Joe won! Congrats Joe! Let's face it, we all have people in our lives that we really just want to tell them to "Shut Up". Seriously, I know I do. I won't mention any names but how many times have you come across someone who just annoys the shit out of you and you just want to scream "No! YOU shut up"? The word "Shut Up" is so harsh sounding and it's not pleasant. But, we're all human and we all say it, or at least we have all said it. I never encourage my employees to shut up, in fact; I encourage them to be just the opposite. I want them to talk to me as much as possible. I want to know their ideas, their visions, their creativity and most of all their opinions.
Not too long ago, I was on a conference call and there were a ton of people on the phone and the person hosting the meeting told everyone to mute their phones. Here's how it went down "You all need to mute your phone and if you don't know what "mute" means maybe you should Google it and find out" Out of the blue in the faint background we hear a female voice say "Why don't YOU Google the word mute". She obviously thought her phone was muted - but it was not. I felt bad for the moderator and also for the person who said that in the background. As far as I know, no one knows who said it. I think it's best if we never find out. As I see it, she basically said "No! YOU Shut UP!"
There has to come a time in our lives where we've "just had enough". Whether it be with our personal lives our how we deal with other people. For me, it's both. For so many months now, I have been contemplating a change. I knew I wanted to change some things about myself but wasn't really sure where to start.
First, I had to decide what it was that was bothering me. What was "it" I wanted to change? I started making a list of the things I didn't like about myself. For one, I am a jealous person by nature, I smoke, I'm a loner, I am constantly tempted to play on line video games, I don't get dressed up enough, I fear failure, the list goes on. I was really harsh on myself when I made this list. It actually hurt to think of myself in such a bad way.
I have a degree in Clinical Psychology, graduated top of my class, I'm smart... So how could I not understand what was going on in my own life? Why was I being so hard on myself? Do I deserve such mean words towards myself? No. I don't and neither do you. I'm here to tell you to stop it. STOP! When you get these negative thoughts in your mind visualize a stop sign in your mind and just say "Stop!" the thought will go away. What I've come to realize is what the problem was; my self esteem. Low self esteem can ruin anything and anyone at anytime...it comes from listening to our Ego.
The ego is something we all have and unfornatulety it tellsus what we "want" vs. what we "need" and we don't "need" to batter ourselves. What we "need" is to learn to love ourselves. I know it's hard to "love ourselves" because we feel selfish in doing so. I know, because I was always told "not to love yourself" that that was being selfish and we should love others first. The truth is, you can't love anyone else unless you love yourself first. It's not being selfish to love yourself in the first place. If you don't show the world how great you are no one will believe it. Post your notes around your house to remind yourself how great you are as a person. You can use the one's I use, they're here in the picture above. When you walk by your "notes" say the words out loud. I post my notes by my fridge, my bathroom mirror, outside my closet, the back of the front door so I can see it before I leave the house. These are little reminders to yourself that you're special, because YOU ARE. Keep the notes there as long as you need them, until you fully believe how wonderful you are. Subconsciously, your mind will register these thoughts and you will soon start to feel like the brand new shiny person you were meant to be.
If you're not like me, then please explain to us who are like me and let us know how you got to be so great. If you're like me, then join me in posting our "notes".
It's been roughly 7 months since I've been in this town. Basically, my day consists of working, eating, sleeping and working some more. Grant it, I could go out and meet people if I really wanted to, but I'd rather work. Who in their right mind would rather work than go out? People like me who are in the public eye mostly yet are very private people. By private, I mean; we (types) keep to ourselves a lot. I guess you could say we're more "Loner" types.
Since I don't go out much, I haven't had the chance to meet a lot of people. However, there is one person I'd like to meet...my neighbor. The problem is...HOW? I'm generally a shy person when it comes to my personal life. I think I was born with running shoes. The first instance of someone being interested in me, I tend to tie up my laces and head for the hills. My neighbor and I have only seen each other a few times in our crossings. Mainly, it's been bright, warm smiles exchanged to each other and a nice "Hello, how are ya?"
I was speaking with my mother tonight about this and I asked her "How can I meet this person without sounding like a complete idiot, let alone get the courage to actually "meet" this person?" She replied "Make a big batch of Ziti and tell him you made too much" and that "you wanted to bring some to him" I got to thinking after she told me that. What if it is as simple as making too much Ziti and sharing with a stranger to strike up a conversation? Can we ever have too much Ziti?
Being in your 40's as I am and single it's not always easy to find a man. The one man that absolutely is the one you want to spend time with all the time, seems harder to find as we age. Are our standards getting higher as we get older, or are our choices getting slimmer? So many times, I get asked how come I don't have a man in my life now. My reply is "Why do I really need one in my life right now?"
Seriously, where is written that men and women need a significant other to complete them? I know people who absolutely have to have that someone in their life because whether they choose to believe it or not the reason they need that other person is because they are afraid to be alone. I, on the other hand am not afraid to be alone. Do I want to die alone? I really don't care, when it's my time...I'll go and I see who I need to see and I can be with who ever I want- whenever I want for as long as I want. to me, that has a much bigger security blanket than being in a relationship that could possibly fail, which statistically they all do.
Do I sound like a scorned woman? Perhaps I am, but you know what? I've earned to feel this way because at least I know I still have a heart. That's more than I can say for most people who end relationships and never look back on the life they once choose with someone they "loved". Is it okay to be manless mostly in Toledo? Sure, it's okay to be anything you want anywhere you want, as along as you're happy. So, if I'm manless in Toledo, doesn't mean I'll be manless anywhere else, it's just right now...I don't need that significant other to complete me. The only thing that needs to be completed is this story... Until Next Time, Much Love,
Nikki
It's been a while since I've written. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, I actually do have a lot to say, but where do you begin when you feel like you're at your beginning? When you feel like you're in the beginning of something great is it fair to go back in the past and remember? Do we do ourselves justice by going back in time? We can not bring the past back and to be quite honest with you, there's really not much in my past I want back. There really is no benefit to looking back in much of anything other than to be grateful for the things we had that made us feel good. Looking back on the past and resenting our decisions holds no true value in who we are capable of becoming today. We all live with some sort of regret, some sort of "should of" or the "I knew better" but what about today? Do we still hold regret, are we still filled with the "I shoulds" are we still going through the "I know betters"? For me, I can honestly say there was a recent time where I was "shoulding" myself. I should of done this, I should of done that, I knew better than to...and the list goes on. What changed for me was the meaning of today. Even though I was going through all that, I realized that "you know what? I did those things" and I can't change them. So I carry on and everyday I try to do something nice for someone. It's my way of not letting my past control my present. My present is my gift to my self. The shortest distance between two lines is a straight line, so draw that straight line to the future and never mind all the curves you had to go around in the past. You do not need to remember when, that's times' job and right now, who has time to go back in the past? Not me. Until Next Time,
Much Love, Nikki
