The "Good" Got The "Best" Of Me

Feelings can be turned off and on like a faucet when you're in a relationship. Although they may not be permanent we sometimes tend to "turn them" off for the sake of saving our hearts. I haven't spoken to Mike since last Thursday morning when I got those text messages from him. I will tell you that day on the air was probably one of the hardest days I had to broadcast. No-one knew I was hurting for the exception on Ken who is our morning show host. I've known Ken for about 7 years now and it's great to work with him again. There's not much someone can do to help someone who is going through a rough time in relationships but to offer a hug, and sometimes that's all you need at that moment.

I was convinced that I needed to move on with my life based on the text messages I got from Mike on Thursday. So, I did just that, I didn't call him, didn't text him, didn't send him emails, I just left him alone. I was feeling pretty good about being in charge of my emotions and having the discipline not to contact him. This weekend I did things, cleaned my house inside and out, did laundry,groomed the dogs,I did whatever I needed to do to get my mind off of Mike. Thanks to the support of my family I was able to get 'through' the weekend and not think about my relationship or now 'my past relationship'.

Sunday afternoon, I was sitting at my table, eating dinner. I actually ordered out and it was a dinner that Mike and I used to like to eat together. Not sure what made me buy it, maybe I was just craving it and wanted to buy it, no big deal right? As I began to eat my dinner a message appears on my instant message and it's from Mike. It was a simple message that said "Hi..are you doing okay?" Did I smile when it came up? sure, Did I not want to answer him? Sure, but did I answer him? you bet. It was a light hearted conversation about movies and wine, nothing about us was said. I know he's not coping well with what's going on and to be honest a part of me is still hurting. I thought I was doing "good" with trying to get over him, but when we started chatting again, I found myself purposely keeping open my instant messenger in hopes he might want to chat again. I guess, you could say "i was doing "good" before the chat, and now....I think my "good" has gotten the best of me.

Until Next Time,
Much Love,
Nikki